I achieved all my 2017 goals but 1

Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track.

Proverbs 3:5-6 MSG

The concept of vision boards hasn’t always been an area of interest for me. Typically I mentally program the goals I’d like to achieve then work hard until I’ve accomplished what I set out to do. Whether that be finishing my diploma, getting my licence, finding a new job – I’m sure you get the gist.

In my previous role I worked for a recruitment agency which consisted of a team with 7 girls. We were a tight knit group who hustled daily to achieve sales targets. One colleague in particular was really big on positivity, quotes, angels, cards etc. and on her desktop screen she proudly displayed her vision board.

The images ranged from an ideal body, cash dollar signs which signified her desire to save money and dream travel locations. Seeing her value her future as such motivated me to think about my future too.

Here is the vision board I have stuck on my bedroom wall. It’s pretty self-explanatory. I had 4 goals in my mind that I committed myself wholeheartedly to:

Start my own blog: CHECK
Restart my studies: IN PROGRESS
Travel to a destination I haven’t been to before: CHECK
Solidify my place on the extended Wallaroos squad: NO

If you’ve been following me for any lengths of time by now you would know I love my rugby. I’m not the fastest, the fittest or the strongest but I know each time I get on the pitch I take pride in the part I play. I have been very fortunate to represent NSW both in 7’s and 15’s however to make an international debut and don the green and gold is sacred and undeniably the highest honour. That’s what I am aiming for.

At the beginning of this year I deferred my degree so I could use all my time and energy honing my skills with the hope I’d get a call up to the Wallaroos squad. Despite not being able to complete this within the time frame I set, I can confidently say I am content. Sure it would’ve been bloody amazing to be on the squad but truth is, I am not.

What is your first response when things don’t work out the way you want them to? My response is to trust the process. Don’t be mistaken, this is accompanied with feelings of hurt, disappointment and some tears too.

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If we received everything we wanted (not needed) it wouldn’t be very conducive to our self development. We’d forfeit valuable opportunities such as growth and evolvement to become our best selves. In this particular season, I choose to be grateful.

Reason being, this is what being an athlete (amateur or elite) is about. There are set backs and times you won’t get selected but it’s how you process and perceive those moments that ultimately make the difference. Looking at the bigger picture, I know I’ve played some of my best footy this year alongside some talented mates and that is irreplaceable.

“I may not be there yet but I am closer than yesterday”.

It is easy to publicly share our wins in life but not necessarily our losses. I can see why people like me who speak openly about their aspirations can be seen as ‘cocky’ however, why is there humiliation in seeing your own potential and better yet believing in it?.

I want to be part of the minority who cultivate a culture that encourages everyday people to speak out their heart hidden dreams without being shut down by nay-sayers.

10 weeks ago I went under the knife to have an ACL replacement and micro fracture done where I had inhibited a chrondral defect. When the odds are stacked against you, it is not difficult to think about all the possible realities but the one you’re facing. ‘If only and maybe if‘ scenarios fill your mind. It’s a bizarre mental space.

I am a firm believer that whatever will be will always be and this injury wouldn’t have changed my chances of being named in the Wallaroos squad. It simply wasn’t meant to be just yet and I can accept that. My best days are still ahead and not knowing where the limit lies genuinely excites me.