Me before you

A few weeks ago I watched a film called ‘Me before you’. I vividly remember watching the trailer at the cinemas last year and vowing to myself I’d watch it as soon as it was released. Lucky I didn’t do that because I honestly believe I watched this movie at a time where I needed to be challenged on whether I was living my best life.

Between my irritation of people demanding me to check my emails at 9pm and a sleep deprived body I chose to ignore both and pull up my laptop in bed. I thought to myself if I find a light watch on Netflix I’ll be asleep within 15 minutes. How wrong was I? Two and a half hours later I had laughed and genuinely wept in equal measures and found myself repeating scenes that specifically connected with the core of my being.

If you haven’t watched it, do yourself a favour and plant yourself in front of a screen ASAP or if you don’t give two shits, click here to read the synopsis.

You see, for a while now I haven’t necessarily felt complete. I’ve been wearing my supposed “busy life” as a badge of honour and lost sight what it means to live a meaningful life. Besides the elements of my life I am blessed to have including a beautiful family, amazing boyfriend, good job, comfortable salary (don’t be mistaken I occasionally live on $ruggle $treet), thriving blog, engaged readers and of course, the best mates the universe could offer, this all amounts to nothing in the darkest of times because I am placing my validation in everyone else’s hands rather than owning this responsibility.

After doing some intense soul searching and receiving ridiculous amounts of inspiration from this movie, I have come to terms with a few ugly findings that I need to personally work on.

Findings 1: My need of wanting to feel important is not really that important.

This year has been different to most as I have come across unique opportunities that in turn have brought about some media attention. Although to the majority I acknowledge it may seem like a  small deal but to me personally I felt like the Beyoncé of Bexley. The pride factor is the dangerous part to this all.

Of course it’s essential for me to be proud of my accomplishments but not when my ego is completely dependent on compliments from people or the likes and comments on my Instagram posts. Sounds cheap but I know I’m not the only one who can get caught living like this.

In the movie Louise Clark comes from very humble beginnings much like myself. She takes on a carer’s role supporting Will Traynor who is a big shot businessman. Will’s life was turned around in an instance when he was involved in a life changing accident. Putting this into personal perspective, if my life was changed dramatically tomorrow will the feeling of ‘importance’ fulfil me? No. It absolutely wouldn’t.

Findings 2: I crave more life experiences.

Once upon a time I wanted to move to the UK. My oldest brother Wes had just signed a super league contract and as part of his package, a complimentary house was provided meaning no rent or bills. I was single at the time and if there was any better time to crack the London big smoke, it was then. However I fell in love with my current partner (two years on October 5) and those plans went on hold indefinitely. This is one of the countless self promises I’ve made and not kept myself accountable to. 

As time progresses I realise it’s not necessary to pack your bags and shift half way across the world to gain life experiences. I spoke about this briefly in my post 3 things my first mission trip taught me, sometimes we just need to look around us to see opportunity. With a burning acquirement of knowledge I came across a poster by work. It was promoting Islamic Awareness Week and headlined an event that I knew I had to attend.

Proud to share I attended my first religious debate and the topic was “Does science disapprove God?”. Two leaders from the Secular party opposing two leaders of the Muslim faith. Despite the obvious fact I’m of either belief systems, I crave moments that will enable me to expand my mind and heart beyond the teachings of my upbringing and home.

I don’t want to shy away from opportunities that’ll enable me to broaden my mind, challenge my heart and ask tough questions when everyone else is comfortable being voiceless.

Findings 3: Life is to be lived DAILY.

I have come to understand that life is best to be lived and not to be conceptualized. I am happy because I am growing daily and I am honestly not knowing where the limit lies. – Bruce Lee

Imagine what your our lives would be if you and I dreamed courageously not limited by our fear or finances? Lets be a generation where the excuses such as “When I have more money” or “Maybe one day”, aren’t acceptable. Learn from those who have gone before us and choose the path less travelled on everyday.

I genuinely believe I am destined for greatness even if I’m not entirely sure what my craft is I trust that each moment is bringing me closer to the place God has purposed me to be. Until then, through the mundane and great moments served to me daily, I choose to live life unapologetically and have a whole heck of fun while I’m at it too.

If you enjoyed this read or have crazy dreams of your own, I’d love to hear from you. Please click on Contact to leave me a line.

Blessings and love,